9 days ago, I lost the first man I loved who loved me back with as much passion and fear, knowing full well that at any moment I would bolt out of my fear of commitment. He understood my being a Trekkie, and embraced it, saying that I could be Kirk’s daughter with how much of a heartbreaker he thought I was. He always called himself one of my victims (our joke was that all of the women Kirk wooed were his victims).
Robert was almost 22 when his convoy was attacked and he was killed. He reminded me a lot of a Star Fleet officer in that if he didn’t have to kill, he wouldn’t. He would only wound and that would be if he was shot at first. I still can’t understand why fate would take away someone who hasn’t had time to make the impact on the world he wanted to, but he has certainly made an impact on me the same way the bridge officers of the original series made on each other. I always thought I would never love, but he got me to so deeply that now my heart aches for him.
Robert was the sweetest guy. Whenever I lost my temper, he a phone call away. I always felt bad calling him for help, but I was so glad that I did by the end of the call. He had a way of making me remember that I could be a better person than what I turn into when I get angry enough. He wasn’t afraid of me and that was something I hadn’t found in anyone before. He didn’t judge nor did he care that I came with baggage. All he wanted was for me to feel safe and secure. Whenever I was getting ready to bolt, somehow he knew and he would ask me what I was running from. I always answered that I was afraid of getting hurt and being abandoned, much like Kirk’s victims were after he was done being a heartbreaker. Robert would always remind me that he wasn’t Kirk and I wasn’t a victim. In fact, he would always say that he was more like Sulu, and I never disagreed.
He also got me to see that the U.S. military has soldiers who are very similar to Star Fleet officers. Most of the Marines in Robert’s unit were men who didn’t want to take lives, much like Star Fleet officers. Navy SEALs try to do more good than harm. It took Robert dying for me to understand that there is good in people even when one can’t see it. I loved him for the amazing man he was and now, even after he’s gone, he’s still teaching me to love.
People need to take time to heal and that goes for me as well. I need time to heal. In time, I will move on and find another man that I will fall in love with, but Robert will always have that spot in my heart where the loved ones we lost stay to teach us. I love and miss you, Robert, and I will always cherish the last words you said to me. <3
So at the moment I am 31000ft in the air going 619mph on a 3.5 hour flight to Missouri for my Spring Break and I keep catching myself wondering how soon Starships are going to be designed because while I love flying, it’s cramped, stale and butt numbingly long depending on where you’re going.
I found myself wondering how much quicker transporting place to place on the planet would be. Traveling a little over 1000 miles in a matter of seconds with no need for security screenings that require you to take off your shoes or have a limit on how large your carry-on luggage can be and no horridly high prices for having luggage to begin with. I mean come on, who doesn’t want to be able to go on that vacation you dream about in the blink of an eye? I certainly do. But sadly, we’re still in the 21st century, not the 24th century.
This plane ride is also super bumpy. Granted, we’re flying over mountains and storms, but in a Star Ship, turbulence isn’t a thing unless you’re being attacked by something. And even then, you have shields and you’re sitting in comfy chairs or standing chatting, or working on something. I know I’m dreaming, but hey, what else is there to do on a plane ride?
One of the only things I would miss about being on planes would be the views you get out your window when your passing over the Rocky Mountains or the Grand Canyon. Maybe not if you have a night flight, but if you have a flight like mine where you leave the sun and you fly into the night, seeing the Rocky Mountains under a blanket of snow beneath the soft purples, pinks and oranges in the sky, you’d miss it too. I have been flying since I was a little kid who couldn’t tie her shoes and I’m still awestruck by some of the amazing sights I get from 30,000ft up in the air.
But that would be replaced with getting to go and see the distant stars and Earth from space. Come on, that would just be cool. And if there was a ten-forward like there is on TNG, then I’d be even happier. :) Plus, rather than sitting in cramped seats for hours, you’d get to wonder around the ship and explore. You’d have Holodecks with an infinite number of programs that you could run and/or create. Seriously, a spa day at your command programmed specifically to what you want. I am drooling at the thought.
Okay, you know my view. What do you think? Planes or starships?
(View from my window: going into the clouds)
Today, I spent most of the day cleaning. That’s right. Not doing homework, or sitting and reading a book. Nope. Cleaning. To the point where:
- My kitchen is sparkling
- My laundry is done
- My living room is pristine
- The floors are vacuumed and swept
- My cat’s eating area is mess-free
- Every piece of trash is in the dumpster AND
- My staircase is dirt-free
It’s days like today where I am jealous of Star Trek. You only see Worf cleaning his quarters once. Other than that, everywhere is clean and pristine. They don’t have dishes to do cause everything is made by the replicator and I’m assuming it’s cleaned up just as easily as it was made.
My roommates and I are grown adult women and yet we make galactic messes that take hours to clean up. I spent all day cleaning here because no one else was here other than my cat and I could no longer take the idea that I was going to break something or step on another nasty clump of hair or even mistake my own cat for a giant lump of cat mess. You never see any of that happening in Star Trek. No messes, everything is always ship-shape, in a manner of speaking. Everyone always has clean clothing, there are never dishes, even Data’s cat always seems to be happy. I wonder how Data cleaned up after his cat. Don’t get me wrong I love my cat, but man does she make a mess! Litter can spread from the bathroom where her litterbox is all the way to the end of the kitchen. If you knew how long my kitchen was, you’d know that’s a good ways. I wish she wouldn’t drag it so far, but what can be done about that? Nothing. lol
Answer me this: would you miss cleaning or would you like being on a space ship with no cleaning necessary?
(What we do to each other when there’s a mess)
My best friend of almost 15 years came over today and we started talking about my little sister, who thinks of my best friend as another big sister. I realized that that’s just our thing. Whenever we talk, we always talk about my baby sister. Now keep in mind, she’s not actually a baby, she’s a 12 year-old preteen who is 5 ft. tall already.
Kirk and Spock we also very good friends and they also had their own tradition when it came to their friendship. It was odd and since we aren’t those characters, we find it weird and funny and cheesy, but who doesn’t have that with their good friends? Their thing was being smart, Kirk teaching Spock how to human, and Spock teaching Kirk how to be more logical. Amazingly enough, Spock and Bones also had a tradition. They bickered like siblings and spat profanities to each other and then laughed about it. Picard and Riker also had their thing. Picard helped Riker out when in need and Riker had this uncanny ability to read Picard’s mind and do something before he asked for it.
It’s those traditions and bonds that help us with our friendships. Think about it, all friendships have their special bond and tradition that keep them going. My parents, have their love of odd, quirky things and each other; my grandparents have their food and dogs and each other; a close friend of 4 years and I have music, homework, and a dislike for certain things that keep our friendship going; my mom and I have each other, Star Trek, and a similar thought pattern that keep us close. The list goes on and on. We all have those things that keep our bonds and traditions going. We love that closeness and feeling of worth that we get from being with others. When we change, our friendships change but some bonds and traditions we have never change.
As I sit here, eating my dinner, mulling over my conversation with my little sister who I haven’t seen in weeks, and watching Season 5 of The Next Generation, I wonder about what life would be like without rainy days.
Think about it, Star Fleet officers on missions never seen rain on their ship. Sure, they have the holodeck, but that doesn’t produce the same rain on Earth. I mean, don’t get me wrong, my head throbs on cloudy days and I dislike being wet unless I’m in a pool or the ocean, but come on, rainy days are the best excuse to curl up in a blanket in bed, on a couch, or by a fire, sip a hot beverage and read a good book or in my case, watch Star Trek:TNG and cuddle with my cat. How could someone give up a chance for that? I know it’s a headache inducer and it’s a good way to catch a cold, but if you’re single and have a cat like me, it’s a good day to just relax, even with homework. For those of you with significant others, it’s a good day to cuddle with your honey and just talk about life.
Star Fleet officers don’t get those days unless they are on a planet and it is not known in the series whether anyone else but Deanna and Riker had a relationship that involved snuggling. Don’t get me wrong, those two are damn cute, as are Keko and O’Brien and Molly, but other than that, not many cuddling couples. And no shots of them enjoying a relaxing rainy day by a fire with a fresh made cup of something warm that wasn’t made by a replicator. I mean seriously? And there was none of that in the original series either. I know it’s supposed to be the future with no problems, but rain has got to be some part of that. They always talk about history, but rain is never a part of that, like it still exists in that world but there is never any rain.
Take my day for example. School was cancelled due to professors being unable to get to class, so I got to, luckily, sleep in, talk to one of my good friends who I hardly get to see, FaceTime with my little sister, I’ve caught up with my homework, taken a lovely hot shower and now I am writing this while watching my favorite show, snuggling with my cranky old cat, and making tea. Not bad for a rainy day, right? Pretty successful for a day full of rain, clouds and the Godzilla of a headache.
So, let me ask you this: would you miss a rainy day?
So today, as not many of you know, is Leonard Nimoy’s 81st birthday. In honor of this pristine day, I am dedicating this blog to him and his always beloved character, Spock.
Spock was the character that I loved watching, and still love to watch when I feel like absolute drab. His version of the exclamation “Fascinating” still makes me smile as it is usually followed by some cheesy, silly 60’s sound effect. I always loved curling up in my parent’s bed when I was in my early teens and being a girl was more painful than I could tolerate, putting in original Star Trek into the DVD player that held 5 DVDs, and eating my mom’s homemade chicken soup and drinking hot lemonade with honey with the two remotes with arms reach and watch Jim Kirk poke fun at Spock and Spock and Bones verbally bashing each other playfully like brothers do. I still do that when my ailments don’t include crippling migraines, sans the mom’s homemade chicken soup (one of the curses of living on my own).
Spock was one of those characters that reminds me of my dad. He is insanely smart, very tall, only makes insanely nerdy jokes, and if you ask him a question, not only does he answer it but he gives you the history of the answer. I had lunch with my mom a week ago and while we were talking, she mentioned that Spock was her favorite character too.
Mom: You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to marry Spock. I found his intelligence and no-nonsense in serious situations very attractive.
Mom: Yep. You want to know what’s funny? When daddy was a kid, he wanted to be Spock. It’s why he couldn’t turn down the job at NASA.
So my dad became Spock and my mom married him. Now I know why this marriage is lasting. They got they’re perfect person to marry them. And people wonder how I became a Trekkie.
When I was just about to start college, my parents said to me that I should find the Spock of the class, befriend that person and keep them around. I did and have been doing just that and it works. When I was in high school, my English teacher has this Spock bobble head on his desk that would say,”Live long, and prosper.” When someone stole it, we cried.
Leonard Nimoy’s character gave nerds something to aspire to be, and Trekkies a character to love, laugh at/with (in two episodes), and love. I wasn’t around when it stopped airing, but I know my mom cried when it did and vowed that she would own the three seasons and the movies that were later made. Now, not only does she own them, but she makes references to things that Spock has said when I ask for advice and has turned me into a Trekkie, to the point where I’m dedicating a blog to him, and have a status on Facebook saying “Happy 81st Birthday Leonard Nimoy!!!! :) He will be making a guest appearance on Big Bang Theory this week too!!!!! w00t w00t!!!!! :)”. Only Trekkies who know the original series well will know how much impact Spock has made on our lives. Until next time, live long, and prosper.
Most girls I knew growing up loved doing things in huge groups, myself included. As I grew up though, I grew out of the need to hang out with huge groups (meaning more than three people), but most girls I knew didn’t, and in fact they started hanging out in much bigger groups. How they could stand hanging out in such large groups I couldn’t and still can’t figure out.
Recently, I had a sleepover with a friend who I met through her boyfriend, who I have known for years. It was her first sleepover and I had my mind set on a night of nothing but fun. It was indeed just that, but at some point we ended up going into a deeper conversation about ourselves and I found out that she has not had many close girl friends. At first I was surprised by this, but as the night went on, I realized that she was not the type of person I was used to. We continued to talk and we both came to the realization that we were going to become very good friends very quickly. That got me to thinking. How many of my gal friends do I hang out with at once? I realized that in the past few months, other than my birthday in January, the number has never been above two. Whenever I hang out with my gal friends, it’s only with one or two others.
I noticed this especially when I went with one of my close friends and my roommate to see “The Hunger Games”. There were groups of up to twelve people in the theater we were in. There was one particular group of tweens that had my roommate and mine’s attention. It was a group of about six girls and they were all managing to hold one conversation without interruption or the start of any arguments. I found this particularly interesting because my little sister is tween and yet cannot stand to be in large groups. She becomes flustered and overwhelmed and clings close to comfort, usually our mom, or goes into a small space to hide from the thing that is making her uncomfortable. How was is that these tweens were all talking about the same topic in such a random way and yet no one was left out of the conversation? I realized that it was just the way they talked. They had created this way of just letting the conversation flow that made everyone happy. I found myself in awe of this because I myself could not do such a thing.
No matter what anyone my age or older says, my little sister’s generation could teach us some things about communication. Maybe we wouldn’t use it to discuss Beiber’s newest haircut or Kate Middleton’s outfits, but I’m certain that we might be able to use this more fluid form of communication to possibly resolve world problems in the same way the Captain Picard did with the Terrelians when Captain Maxwell attacked their ships because he thought they were still in war.
By the end of this long and fun weekend, I’ve come to the conclusion that while yes, girls can be petty, immature and the worst perpetrators of backstabbing, we can also communicate much better than we give ourselves credit for. Yeah, it’s complicated and sometimes it needs to be translated, but we can get our problems solved quicker with our form of odd communication.
Now if only there were a translation book that came with us at birth…